This story originally appeared in the July issue of Good Housekeeping. Names have been changed. My life unraveled with an unexpected phone call from my mother: "Do you know what your husband's doing on the computer? It's how he unwinds," I responded. We'd just come back from visiting my parents with our five-year-old son, Jamie. When I hung up the phone, I was stunned.

Not much is known about addiction to pornography, not the numbers of people affected; even the definition is hazy. Valerie Voon, a neuropsychiatrist at the University of Cambridge in this article. The result is a cohort of mostly men who have become addicted and desensitized to the dopamine rush of a constant barrage of online porn. Occasional porn consumption is common, but therapists and doctors are seeing more relationship and sexual performance difficulties among heavy porn users—behavior that looks a lot like addiction. Discovering that your partner uses porn addictively is a crushing, confusing experience. Is this normal?

I was living my dream life. It was what many would view as an idyllic existence. Nineteen years in, I could have never imagined my husband had a secret wreaking havoc on his personal life that was about to wreak havoc on our marriage. My husband wasn't the type you'd think would have a secret life.

I recently read an anonymous letter published by the wife of a man addicted to pornography. Instantly, I felt heartache, sadness, and anger for her. I trust that other people will find something here to help them as well. More to read: How pornography robs viewers of authentic love, trust and honesty. To the anonymous wife: Everything you have written is absolutely true, and not just for you, but for many other wives and husbands, too.